I think the last time I blogged, I had mentioned stubbing my pinky toe on the cart at Target. Well last night...I stubbed the same toe on the wheel of Maliya's stroller while we were at Waikele Outlets in Carter's. It hurt. A lot. Some clear liquid came out from under my nail and then a little blood. Today it's very sore and there's some clear, sticky stuff oozing out. Sorry if that's graphic, but there's no lighter way to really say it. I showed Andrea and asked her about it because I'm nervous about it getting infected. She said it's bruising fluid and it's normal. I just really don't want it to fall off :(
Yesterday I got a call from Tripler. The nurse called from Specialty Surgeries department about the plastic surgery consult I had scheduled for tomorrow. She wanted to move it to today, so I had that this morning. It went alright, but not as well as I had hoped for.
I'm definitely a good candidate the doctor said. From the way I understood they would remove about 3 1/2 pounds total from both breasts. That's a lot. But....yes there's always a but....my bmi is too high for them to do the surgery. He said they can't do it unless it's 30 or lower, but he said around 30 is good enough. My bmi is 37, although they told me 39 for some reason. But I checked 2 different websites and both said 37.3 so...no clue where 39 came from. Well, to get down to a bmi of 30.7 I have to lose about 41 pounds. Then I can have surgery.
It's kind of disheartening because I've already lost 33 pounds since I had Maliya and now I have to lose like 40 more before I can have a breast reduction done. Which once I have it done I can run again and I'd definitely lose weight then. Not to mention that Lee has this ERB coming up in November and if his name is on that list then they are kicking him out next June. Then I won't get the reduction free because we won't have military insurance anymore. So not only do I have to worry about losing the weight...I also have to worry about doing it quickly enough incase he is kicked out. Which we'll find out this coming November, but I still want to lose as much as I can before then because if he is on that list...that doesn't leave me much time to get it done and recover before we'd have to move.
So I'm not eating any more fast food. I'm not drinking any more soda, diet or otherwise. I'm not eating any more snacks: chips, gummy bears, pretzels, goldfish, poptarts, etc. The only "fast food" I said is ok is Subway, but I'm only allowing myself flat bread over a roll (less carbs) and minimal mayo/mustard dressings. Also no more extra cheese and I have to have at least 3 veggies on it. That's the only way I'll allow myself to eat it. And no more daily weigh ins, or even weekly. Every 2 weeks, I'm going to document it on here too.
I could cry right now. I feel so defeated.