Time For Change

I'm really feeling down on myself today :(

My best friend recently had a baby and she looks amazing. I don't care about the fact she was smaller than me when she got pregnant (a lot smaller), but knowing that I weigh almost two of her makes me sad.

Mary, my psychiatrist, and I made a plan for me to start doing leg lifts, crunches and squats...for now. I'm going to do 50 of everything to begin, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday (starting today). I want to run, I miss running so much. But I can't with my boobs being the size they are. It physically hurts and there are no sports bras in my size anywhere in stores or that I can find online. I need a lot of support and nothing I've found online offers high impact control like what I need.

This coming Thursday, I have a consult appointment with specialty surgery at Tripler. I'm actually really excited because this is the first step toward the breast reduction I have wanted since I was a teenager. I hope things move quickly after this appointment. And once I am all healed after I have the reduction, I cannot wait to be able to go running again!

But, in the mean time I am going to start the plan that Mary and I worked out and hope it helps me shed some weight and get to feeling better. Exercising is supposed to release endorphins and that is what makes you happy, so I know it'd help.

Enough pity partying, Maliya is waking up from her catnap she took during the car ride home from the NEX.

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